"Well someone slap me with a wet squirrel!" - Michael Puryear, my Music Publishing professor
This got me thinking.
What the heck is up with some of the phrases that we use in every day conversation?
I'm not afraid to look stupid.
Up until about a year or so ago, I had no idea I had been wrongly saying phrases my entire life:
"Up and at 'em!" became "Up and Adam!" Which obviously made very little sense to me before I figured that one out.
"Taken Aback" became "Taken Back" It took a Rocket Summer song to make me realize I was apparently unaware that 'aback' is even a word. Has aback EVER been used in your normal vocabulary? No. But I'm nearly positive that the word 'back' appears in your conversations daily.
"Tide you over" became "Tie you over" Which I STILL don't understand. What does tide have to do with anything in this context? Tie is a much more appropriate word to use considering the meaning of this phrase. Like, tie, fasten, fix in place, sustain. You eat a snack to tie you over until dinner. You go to the beach to see the tide changes. Seriously- if anyone has an adequate explanation, I'd really appreciate it.
Other phrases I don't quite see the purpose of:
"Pardon my French"-
Okay, so apparently, all the French are capable of saying is something unpleasant or bleep worthy now, oui?
How many of us could even use French if we wanted to?
I'm sorry, French people. I will acknowledge the good you have done for the world:
1) A place to bury Jim Morrison
2) Brie
3) The bidet
4) The French Kiss (although, I'm pretty sure they didn't invent that one...just cutting them some slack)
5) The Bichon Frise
"A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush."-
Okay, I get it. It's better have a small advantage within your reach then some unreachable thing...but really, society, could we not come up with something that doesn't take a full 5 minutes of contemplation to figure out?
And- I do not want a bird in my hand. Does no one fear the avian flu any longer?
"Rule of Thumb"-
I did some research regarding the origin of the Rule of Thumb, (because it must be awfully darn important, duh) I discovered that this goes back to Old England, when apparently, a man could beat his wife with a stick as long as it did not exceed the width of his thumb. Now maybe this is just me, but if my husband beat me with a stick...there'd be more than one stick being violently snapped in half, if you catch my drift.
"You are the bee's knees!"-
Uhm...thank you?
"Whatever tickles your fancy!"-
Hm. Ever consider that maybe my fancy doesn't wanna be tickled?
Maybe I just wanna get what I want.
I could probably go on about this forever...I just think it's interesting to think about all of the phrases we use all the time. Where do they come from? Do people just make this stuff up? Well, apparently, yes.
So why can't I?
From now on, I'm just going to insert random collections of words, preferably containing alliteration, in conversation and see where it takes me.
My first one "Well tickle my tonsils!" (Meaning yet to be applied)
Upon second thought, that sounds dirty. I'll try again.
"It's raining felines and frankfurters!" (Get it? Cats and 'hot' dogs?)
....okay, maybe those do suck. Okay, they definitely suck. But it's no worse than the bird/bush one.
But at the end of the day, I can only be glad that I'm not my former roommate who was convinced that the word stupid was spelled with a T at the end. Her reasoning was that you applied the adjective to a person or object (hence the "it" in stupit)...Bless her soul.
I just find the irony that it was the word stupid hilarious in and of itself.
I also think it's pretty sad that she did not have one teacher, friend, or family member correct her for 19 years.
Most of my friends would consider me a grammar/English/writing freak...which I am. In fact, I've told my current roommate that I get a sick joy from reading and editing papers. Consequently, I've proofread about 5 this year. However, I am not afraid to admit that this quadrant of the English language still puzzles me...and probably always will. Why anyone would request to be slapped by a wet squirrel is beyond me...
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