This is a story...

Ch-ch-changes

2009-12-13T23:21:00.003-06:00

So. It's been a while.

Got a lot going on.

I finished up my internship at Thirty Tigers...I really didn't realize how much I liked it until it was over. I learned a whole lot, and the people were so fantastic. It was a great experience...I'm considering going back to intern in the summer. It was nice to get hugs and words of reassurance. A pat on the back, if you will. Something that proved all of my work paid off...and JT told me that when I start looking for jobs, to give him a call. I'll definitely be taking him up on that offer. Yes sir.

Right now, I'm in survival mode while making it through studying for finals. Then I have to face the whole "leaving Michael for a month" thing on Tuesday. It's not going to be easy. It may sound pathetic, but we haven't been apart for that long since freshman year, and for good reason. He's definitely my other half. I'm hoping that my trip to London will make the time apart a little more bearable. Although, there's no doubt that I wish I could bring him with me. There are just some things that I always want to share with my best friend.

But then comes London: adventure? getting lost in the "tube"? yummy cider? boring class? fun class? Probably all of the above. I have no idea what I'm going to be doing there, but hey...why not right? All I know is I'm gearing up for some wet and cold weather and bringing a stack of books with me. Should be a good time. It would be nice to make some new friends and see the world...well...part of it, at least.

And then, when I return, I'm supposed to be working for my new pal, Lindsay and his and Elle Macho. Basically- I'm really going to be stretching myself...learning all sorts of things about marketing, management, etc..It could be awesome, it could be exhausting, it will probably be both. I'm really excited about it. I love learning and trying new things. I'm excited about the people I will meet. Hopefully, I'll get some valuable life lessons out of this experience.

Things are starting to feel like they're just going non-stop until NEXT December, when I'll be graduating (and if I'm lucky, finding a job). Hold on to your seats, ladies and gents.

I'm Quitting Quitting.

2009-07-26T21:11:00.005-05:00

I think I want to take up ballroom dancing.

While channel surfing tonight, I landed on a new show called "Dancing Tweens" (please note the play on the Abba song). Now, I currently am watching 8 year old Isabella dancing with her handsome 11 year old partner Mark...and they make me feel like I suck at life.

Why did my parents let me quit dance? And what was I thinking quitting piano lessons? I quit tennis. I quit soccer. I quit my voice lessons because I got sick of Italian arias.

I am now 20 years old with barely any talent to show for myself. I am a classic case quitter.

Ladies and gents, it is time for a new hobby. I am very open to suggestions.

I feel like I'm gonna end up being that 32 year old mom who randomly wants to take up the viola.

Right now things that sound fun (which ironically are mostly things I always wanted to take up as a kid but never did):

-Ice skating

-Swimming

-Equestrian (yes. The super fancy horseback riding...jumping over stuff...awesome!)

-Painting classes

-Photography

-Scrapbooking

-Bowling

More than one of those things are nerdy. I do not care. I want to ride ponies and bowl a perfect 300.

This blog can get superrrr boring. I think I might have to do the whole "take up a new hobby and blog about it" thing. Why not?

**IDEA** I'm going to attack the Big Ass Book of Crafts. Yup yup. Before I go back to school, I am going to do at least 3 projects out of it for my new apartment. SCORE.

Wanted: Warm Fuzzies

2009-06-15T00:54:00.006-05:00

Sometimes, I wish I could go back and enjoy music the way I did when I was 12.

Of course I still love music today, but the way I hear and experience it is different...I don't care to "meet the band" anymore (with the exception of Andrew McMahon or Ben Gibbard. I'd go for a handshake in hopes that some vibe of genius would pass onto me).

They're just people who write songs, sing them, and people like it.

I rarely get excited to go to concerts. Of course I enjoy them, but the magic of that experience doesn't really capture me anymore- every once in a while, though, a moment will bring back my inner amazed 14 year old.

I don't know what my point is, so feel free to quit reading.

I guess it just makes me a little sad that I find the little kid on Christmas excitement fades more and more each year.

I wish that I could experience songs like it's the first time I've heard them every time.

I remember the first time I heard Black Balloon...subject matter way beyond what I understood it to be, but the sound of it drew me in so quickly. Heroin addiction...who knew?

The bridge in Drops of Jupiter. Epic. And every time I hear that song it brings me back to that summer where my first "boyfriend" dumped me at Disney World in 6th grade because I heard it in the car on the way home...but it feels good....Hanging By a Moment was that same summer.

Every time I hear "Hands Down," I remember sitting around talking to Chelsea about how we both wanted our first kisses to be just like the one at the end of the song, and being completely clueless freshmen.

"Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane reminds me of the first time I met Nate...by fainting on him. I still get dizzy when I hear it.

Jack's Mannequin Everything in Transit reminds me of Rachel begging me to play another cd on the way to and from school after about 5 consecutive months of never changing it. It's THAT good.

Jimmy Eat World "Kill" was everything I couldn't say to a certain someone a year ago, but desperately wanted to.

"Brand New Colony" always reminds me of Michael and puts a big smile on my face.

I'm enjoying itunes shuffling and a journey through summers past.

Sometimes I just need a good dose of the warm fuzzies...hopefully that trip to Nashville will do it for me. On the way up, I fully intend to listen to some of my favorite nostalgic songs.

Summerrrrtime (so far?)

2009-06-14T00:45:00.005-05:00

There are some things I never get sick of:

1) Death Cab for Cutie...never, ever, ever.

2)Chocolate chip cookies

3) The sound and smell of rain

4)Apparently, watching Clueless on tv at midnight.

5)Laughing with Lindsi while catching up after some absence from each other's lives. I love friendships like that...you just pick up where you left off.

6) Reading good books in the summer...just finished the Alchemist (after forgetting I was reading it)...but it was very good!

7) Salmon and broccoli. I've eaten this at least 10 times in the last couple of weeks. Mmm happy girl.

I fell off the face of the earth for a while as far as blogging goes- pretty much because nothing exciting is really happening in my life.

I'm in Atlanta for the summer.

It's nice to spend some time with my family...I'm pretty sure this is going to be my last summer at home. Generally mixed feelings about that. I just need to convince Rachel to come to Belmont...and bring Bianca.

I've got my internship going now...which sorta seems like a bummer so far. I work with some really cool guys that are fun to talk to and hang out with during the day. Unfortunately, however, none of them really have anything for me to do...they even make their own coffee. Maybe I'll just start knitting while at work and they'll get the point...after sitting 9-5 until August, they'll probably all have scarves and Michael will have that earflap hat he's wanted so badly.

Also- one guy that works there co-wrote one of Sugarland's biggest hits. He seems like the coolest guy ever, so I'm trying like the dickens not to hate him even though they are definitely at the top of my "most despised country acts" list.

I went to a Jack's Mannequin show last night with my dad. Good bonding time. Doesn't happen often, but it was actually really nice. Also---it is worth noting that Jack's Mannequin is best experienced in the rain. Seriously. I do have a soft spot in my heart for rain, but combined with a crying piano...mmm. (Is it weird that I don't mind getting completely soaked in the rain? I love it.)

Oh, and then the Redwings lost...but we're not going to talk about that, okay?

My mom and dad were nice enough to buy me some nice furniture for my apartment next year (and other future residences of mine) which I have found super exciting. It makes me feel grown up...and creative because I get to match things and choose a new look for my room.

That's something I've noticed about myself. My mind is SO in the future. Sometimes I forget to bring myself back into the present just because I love thinking so much...I love ideas, questions, and finding the missing piece in the puzzle.

Speaking of missing pieces, I miss Michael. I'm admittedly far more pathetic than he is when it comes to distance.

And I also just miss Nashville in general. I think I've pretty much settled on the fact that I'm going to want to stay there after graduation...at least for a few years. The more I'm in other places, the more I realize how much I love it there.

That's pretty much it. I really have nothing clever to say. I'm just content and excited to make a trip up to Nashville next weekend to see Kelly for her birthday and spend some time with my favorite boy =)

The present is a funny place to live.

2009-03-12T21:09:00.005-05:00

It's a weird feeling when you realize you've outgrown your past and haven't quite figured out the future.

When you've outgrown your home, your friends, your childhood wishes.

It's just plain weird.

I don't know if I should be upset or excited.

Spring break has been really interesting for me. I feel like in a matter of 2 days, I figured out everything I had unknowingly been trying to figure out for the past year and a half.

Some best friends stay, most best friends go.

The place that was my home for 10 years isn't anymore.

I've lived my life spread through 3-4 cities for the past 2 years, and I think I'm done with my time in one of them.

It makes me sad, but it makes me optimistic about the future because I know I'm finally ready for it.

I'm definitely not saying that it doesn't hurt for some people and familiar places drift out of my life, I'll always love those people and I'll always love Disney World...but I'm done trying to maintain a part of my life that doesn't exist anymore...even Mrs. Field's cookies don't taste the same. It's just exhausting trying to be two different versions of me. I've grown up a bit, and so many people have stayed the same. I'm exhausted by trying to maintain close relationships with people who don't care to do their 50%. I need to get my head out of the past and get excited about what's going on today and in the future.

My life is what is happening now.

It's in Nashville with my boyfriend and the long-distance phone calls with Caitlin. The excitement I have for my growing relationship with my church. The possibilities of seeing the world, meeting new people, building relationships that will take me somewhere new.

New job opportunities. Time in Atlanta with my family because I know as we get older things will never stop changing. Enjoying my doggy while I've still got her with me. Enjoying the snow over 85 degree Christmases. Drinking tea with new friends that I'm growing closer to and talking about nothing in particular. Learning to love soy milk and coffee. Taking more chances. Volunteering. Being part of something bigger than myself.

I think I'm finally learning.

I think I might actually get it.

I've got a LONG way to go.

ps-I'm annoyed by Comcast knocking off the FreeCreditReport.com commercials. One more reason to hate that company.

Genius Strikes on Friday Nights!

2009-02-28T00:54:00.012-06:00

So I was watching Garden State tonight because I have nothing better to do on a Friday night when my friends are busy, and I was thinking about the guy in the movie who gets completely loaded off of his invention of silent velcro.

Now silent velcro is a pretty good idea.

Sometimes I wonder what kind of ridiculous invention I could come up with and make a ton of money off of.

Let's start with the Clapper.

GENIUS! Lazy people all over the world rejoiced when this was invented. Children who fear monsters under the bed, fear no more! Think there's a burglar in your room? Clap and find out. It's probably just your dog...and if it's not, at least you're getting a good look at the assailant. It makes the whole identifying them in a lineup thing all the more convenient for you.

The Snuggie.

Now, people in one of my classes recently tore this product to shreds (not literally)...

But I am not ashamed to admit that I sorta really want one.

Sure, it is a blanket with arms. Nothing special. Slightly- no, very- dorky.

HOWEVER, there have been many occasions when I am studying or watching tv on the couch or in bed and I wanna feel a little cuddly. I would like to multitask, but I'm confined by my traditional BLAH-nket. Some sleeves now and then would be most helpful.

The Magic Bullet.

Honestly, I have gotten sucked into the Magic Bullet infomercial at least a dozen times.

Come on, admit it. You, too, must have thought on some occasion, "WOW! It would be totallly awesome to make a smoothie one minute, guacamole the next, and top it all of with in omelette in less than 10 minutes using only one small kitchen appliance!"

Now, I can't see myself shelling out the dollaz for that one, but every now and then, I find myself dreaming up Magic Bullet concoctions that could have been.

Bendaroos.

This is not a joke. The first person to buy me a set of Bendaroos will be my hero forever...there may or may not be a prize involved. If you don't know what they are, look up the commercial on youtube. I can only think of the grand creations that I could make.

Kidz Bop 972.

Something about 6 & 7-year-olds singing "I Kissed a Girl" and Nickelback covers is just not right to me. Like who in their right mind thought that was a great idea? Apparently someone with a kid in juvie...and anyone who teaches their kid that Nickelback is okay should probably join their kid in juvie.

So. What is my point?

Basically, I have decided to dedicate my life to inventing completely useless things that gullible people with insomnia and active credit cards will buy.

First step? The toilet muffler. Belmont's toilets are obnoxiously loud. The problem has escalated to the point where some individuals ::cough, Michael, coughcough:: feel the need to cover their ears after peeing. What will I call the toilet muffler?

THE FLUSHER HUSHER! Come on. Sell that in multiple colors, and people will eat it up.

Other ideas include, but are not limited to:

Flavored Envelopes: Tastionary. Some people just don't like to lick it, okay? (That's what she said.)

Heated Massage Chairs (which already exist) but MINE would be musical and emphasize heating the legs and increasing circulation. Name of the product: "Hot Legs Lounge Chair"...Rod Stewart and Tina Turner will obviously trade off time slots in endorsing the product in nighttime infomercials.

In honor of the ficticious creator of silent Velcro, I'd create the silent zipper.

Name: "Zip-It!"

The face of the campaign would be an old man shaking his fist at some little kids zipping up their noisy coats, shouting, "Zip it mongrels!"

That's all I've got for now, but I'm sure I'll come up with something better.

Good luck coming up with your own get rich quick scheme.

Don't forget to Clap On, Clap Off, ladies and gents.

Someone had to say it...

2009-02-23T15:04:00.010-06:00

"Well someone slap me with a wet squirrel!" - Michael Puryear, my Music Publishing professor

This got me thinking.

What the heck is up with some of the phrases that we use in every day conversation?

I'm not afraid to look stupid.

Up until about a year or so ago, I had no idea I had been wrongly saying phrases my entire life:

"Up and at 'em!" became "Up and Adam!" Which obviously made very little sense to me before I figured that one out.

"Taken Aback" became "Taken Back" It took a Rocket Summer song to make me realize I was apparently unaware that 'aback' is even a word. Has aback EVER been used in your normal vocabulary? No. But I'm nearly positive that the word 'back' appears in your conversations daily.

"Tide you over" became "Tie you over" Which I STILL don't understand. What does tide have to do with anything in this context? Tie is a much more appropriate word to use considering the meaning of this phrase. Like, tie, fasten, fix in place, sustain. You eat a snack to tie you over until dinner. You go to the beach to see the tide changes. Seriously- if anyone has an adequate explanation, I'd really appreciate it.

Other phrases I don't quite see the purpose of:

"Pardon my French"-

Okay, so apparently, all the French are capable of saying is something unpleasant or bleep worthy now, oui?

How many of us could even use French if we wanted to?

I'm sorry, French people. I will acknowledge the good you have done for the world:

1) A place to bury Jim Morrison

2) Brie

3) The bidet

4) The French Kiss (although, I'm pretty sure they didn't invent that one...just cutting them some slack)

5) The Bichon Frise

"A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush."-

Okay, I get it. It's better have a small advantage within your reach then some unreachable thing...but really, society, could we not come up with something that doesn't take a full 5 minutes of contemplation to figure out?

And- I do not want a bird in my hand. Does no one fear the avian flu any longer?

"Rule of Thumb"-

I did some research regarding the origin of the Rule of Thumb, (because it must be awfully darn important, duh) I discovered that this goes back to Old England, when apparently, a man could beat his wife with a stick as long as it did not exceed the width of his thumb. Now maybe this is just me, but if my husband beat me with a stick...there'd be more than one stick being violently snapped in half, if you catch my drift.

"You are the bee's knees!"-

Uhm...thank you?

"Whatever tickles your fancy!"-

Hm. Ever consider that maybe my fancy doesn't wanna be tickled?

Maybe I just wanna get what I want.

I could probably go on about this forever...I just think it's interesting to think about all of the phrases we use all the time. Where do they come from? Do people just make this stuff up? Well, apparently, yes.

So why can't I?

From now on, I'm just going to insert random collections of words, preferably containing alliteration, in conversation and see where it takes me.

My first one "Well tickle my tonsils!" (Meaning yet to be applied)

Upon second thought, that sounds dirty. I'll try again.

"It's raining felines and frankfurters!" (Get it? Cats and 'hot' dogs?)

....okay, maybe those do suck. Okay, they definitely suck. But it's no worse than the bird/bush one.

But at the end of the day, I can only be glad that I'm not my former roommate who was convinced that the word stupid was spelled with a T at the end. Her reasoning was that you applied the adjective to a person or object (hence the "it" in stupit)...Bless her soul.

I just find the irony that it was the word stupid hilarious in and of itself.

I also think it's pretty sad that she did not have one teacher, friend, or family member correct her for 19 years.

Most of my friends would consider me a grammar/English/writing freak...which I am. In fact, I've told my current roommate that I get a sick joy from reading and editing papers. Consequently, I've proofread about 5 this year. However, I am not afraid to admit that this quadrant of the English language still puzzles me...and probably always will. Why anyone would request to be slapped by a wet squirrel is beyond me...

Well, you can't be good at everything...

2009-02-21T22:54:00.003-06:00

So I changed my mind about that whole "secretly liking accounting/being kinda good at it" thing.

I definitely jinxed myself.

*Correction: I suck at accounting, it hates me, and I return the favor.

On another note, my little sister is now funnier than me. Apparently, the downside to exposing her to all of my sarcasm and witticism is that, eventually, those darn kids pick up on it.

They accrue all of these sharp things you've said in their mind, improve upon them, and then wreak havoc on YOUR audience.

I first noticed the problem the last time I was home for a visit. I spat out a random sarcastic bit, and the little brat one-upped me. (I say brat only because I'm bitter)

I'm not going down without a fight. No, no, no.

Also, I suggest that all of you learn to appreciate the simple joys in life.

My roommate recently bought me a Lisa Frank coloring book.

Simply by her association with the object, she is now my favorite person in the world.

Caitlin also gave me Silly Putty.

......and I now realize that I sound like a 4 year old.

But someday, when I'm old and my hands are arthritic, I'm going to be pretty happy to say that my aching joints were earned through years of coloring pretty pictures and lifting pencil drawings onto Silly Putty.

Pictured above:

The Silly Putty Unicorn that Caitlin requested, which, somehow, looks more like a fetal pig.

Which reminds me of a really bad experience in 9th grade biology.

OF COURSE my group got the pig that wasn't adequately drained of its bodily fluids...

(For those of you interested, formaldehyde makes the leftovers inside black and clumpy)

Hello, world:

2009-02-16T15:51:00.004-06:00

I would just like to inform you all that you have not experienced a smidgen of life until you have experienced the culinary excellence that is Caitlin Steele's puppy chow.

You're all missing out on life, and it makes me sad.

I have a gallon size ziploc of it in my room. Start thinking of ways to convince me to share...it's not going to be easy...

ps...please take some. Caitlin is trying to fatten me up...or send me into a sugar coma. But oh that coma will be so yummy.

(pictured above: The hero herself, the master of the birthday celebration, the dolphin whisperer)

Oh, and you also haven't experienced life until you've had a best friend like Caitlin. I could go on for hours, but no one would read that...basically, just be jealous because she is the most fun and big-hearted girl in the world.

the end.

The day we all love to hate...

2009-02-14T23:27:00.007-06:00

Valentine's Day, until we've actually had a good one, can easily be about as enjoyable as getting stranded on the toilet with no toilet paper.

My last Valentine's Day consisted of me on a date with one of my best girlfriends at the same time and location as my current boyfriend and his ex-girlfriend. That was about as fun as sandpapering your eyeballs. I also received my signature pity rose, which I did gladly accept as a token of appreciation for my friendship (I really did appreciate it a lot, Michael, I promise, and Collin would be glad to know you continued the tradition)...

I'm now positive that guys hate Valentine's Day as much as single girls do though. Once you're in a relationship, dollars are wasted on flowers that die, meals that get eaten, etc... And as much as your girlfriend agrees that it's a waste of money and a gimmick of the greeting card industry, if you forget of decide to let the day slip, you're probably going to wind up in some trouble.

This year, however, I was lucky enough to have quite a different experience. Michael has since redeemed himself in a big way. I must extend a little bit of pity for the boy, however. February is a big month for him:

My 20th birthday falls on the 8th. Valentine's Day on the 14th. Our 6 month anniversary on the 26th.

Lucky for him, I'm easily satisfied by quality time...but the BEAUTIFUL pink roses were a wonderful bonus =)

But- I'm also a firm believer in equality. A male equivalent of Valentine's Day should be celebrated annually on March 14th. Society has its own name for this man celebration of love, but it's name is a bit inappropriate, so I'll have to come up with something else.

Most likely this day will consisted of red meat, some form of video games, growling, and rolling in dirt follow by rubbing antlers on trees and using the word "boobs" repeatedly. Okay, maybe not exactly that, but something that a guy can appreciate...because I'm pretty sure we're all clear on the fact that they don't want flowers, and if your guy does want flowers, you may want to dig a little further into his past...just sayin'.

March 14th is also Taylor Hanson's birthday- if only I could eliminate pointless crap like that from my memory. He also just had a son named Viggo Moriah. If that kid doesn't end up looking like him, his life will be miserable.

Other random things stored in my brain:

A horse's heart weighs 10lbs

Eskimos use refrigerators to keep food from freezing

Elephants are the only mammals that can't jump. This is because they have 4 knees, of course.

In addition to their striped fur, tigers also have striped skin.

Anyway, my point is that Valentine's Day CAN be fun...I never thought I'd see the day.

Happy Valentine's Day to all of you. I hope you've been as lucky in love as I am.

Dun dun dun...

2009-02-09T12:42:00.003-06:00

Update:

I'm sort of good at accounting.

And I'm almost enjoying it.

And I think I hate that realization.

This is just sick.

Somebody stop it.

On another note, the weather these past few days has been gorgeous! What a beautiful way to start off being 20. I had a delightful birthday thanks to a pretty awesome boyfriend and some wonderful friends.

Yesterday, I learned that I might be the best female thing that has happened to kickball in a while.

I'm so good at kickball, in fact, that I am accurate enough to kick it directly to whoever is on first base each and every time.

Someday, remember this: I will make it to first base.

Quarter Life Crisis: Lessons in Hair Coloring

2009-02-04T21:33:00.006-06:00

In preparation for my 20th birthday this Sunday, my dear friend, Madison, and I decided that it could be fun to spontaneously decide to dye our hair. Now...if you know me, you know how I feel about my hair. No one, and I mean no one, besides trained professionals have ever touched my hair (and now I know for good reasons)...If only someone had warned me that the color on the box is a BIG FAT LIAR.

What was once referred to by many as "The Mane" had spun into an uncontrollable state of "Mane-ia."

My hair did not turn a beautiful, deep, mahogany brown...oh no, ladies and gentlemen.

My hair proceeded to turn a nice shade of pinkishorangeishburgundybrownred which my boyfriend later referred to as "Cartoony."

Other sentiments about the accidental hair color?

"How late is Walgreens open?"

"Ooh...it's not.....that bad."

"Can that really be fixed?"

"You gonna pull a Britney?"

And the picture doesn't do it justice...go out in the sunlight, and you might be blinded by it.

Yeah it was bad. I learned to laugh about it. My aunt put it a good way- "Just consider this your last act of random teenage stupidity."

And I think I will- If, I can hold out till Sunday...

Either way though, my hair has since been changed back to a color that occurs in nature and does not look like Wilma Flinstone, and I can get a good laugh out of it.

Moral of the story:

1) Kids, do not try this at home

2) You're only young for a little while, so do something stupid now while you can still get away with it.

Let's Get Crafty!

2009-01-19T23:45:00.006-06:00

Nothing is finer than a nice afternoon filled with procrastination.

Today's source of distraction came from my new best friend, The Big Ass Book of Crafts. Seriously. It doesn't get much better than that.

(I like to call my little avian friends Bert and Frieda)

I've noticed more and more lately how nice it feels to do something artistic now and then. It's a great stress reliever, makes me feel like I'm six again (which some people might insist is true...you should see me around chocolate chip cookies...), and somehow, it makes me feel like I might possess a smidgen of talent. Basically, I highly recommend doing SOMETHING crafty this week.

And be looking for some more adventures in the craft world very soon...

Living with no regrets...

2009-01-10T12:59:00.004-06:00

Lately, I've been struggling a lot with some mistakes that I've made.

I know people always say, "You should live life with no regrets. Just make your mistakes and learn from them."

I've kind of come to realize, though, that sometimes you really do end up regretting things whether you'd like to or not...and I think we should.

Every now and then, I find myself disappointed in myself, far from the person I wanted to be. It's sorta hitting me hard today. I set goals for myself, then constantly let myself down, but more importantly, I let God down...the one person's expectations I really care about living up to.

I know that God forgives us...and He is a very loving God. The Bible says in Corinthians "Love keeps no record of wrongs." So, I know that God has forgiven me for the things I'm not so proud of now that I've repented and made a real decision to make changes in my life.

However, I find it even harder to forgive myself. For potentially hurting someone else. For potentially hurting myself.

I know that now the past is the past, and there's nothing I can do about it...but I can't help but wish I had done things just a little differently. I think that just comes with the territory in being human, making mistakes. It's something I think we must all struggle with.

And if there's nothing we'd look back and change, then what have we really learned?

I guess I just need to suck it up...do my best to make the necessary changes, and put a positive spin on my mistakes. None of us are infallible, and for some crazy reason God loves us anyway. He's a God of second chances. I think I'll take it.

Reflections on a great year and ringin' in a new one...

2009-01-09T13:49:00.003-06:00

Happy 2009! I keep saying that I can't believe it's already 2009...I wasn't quite done with my 2008 yet, but I suppose I've got to make the most of it and dive right in...but before I do that, I just wanted to share some things that I've picked up on this year.

2008 was an amazing year for me. With the exception of the first half of it that was a bit bumpy, I have never been happier. I've done more growing over the past year than I ever could have expected...and any trials have only turned out to be blessings. I'm in a relationship with the most amazing guy I could ever have hoped for. I've grown closer to my best friends, and farther from some others...but for the most part, everything has seemed to finally fall into place in my life, and I know that it has to do with me finally giving up on the pride battle of trying to do it myself, and just surrendering it to God and learning to ask for help from Him and others when I need it.

I've learned that I really can handle anything through God. His plan is ALWAYS better than mine, so it's pretty much just best to turn everything over to Him from the start...that won't ever backfire on you, but your plan probably will.
I've learned that I shouldn't sweat the small stuff...and seriously, it IS all small stuff when you think about it.
I've learned that I shouldn't give up on people. Not everyone will let you down. Not every guy will break your heart, and sometimes, you have to take a few hits before you can really appreciate how good you have it. I am incredibly blessed.
I've learned that leaving can be one of the most empowering things you can do.
I've learned that disconnecting from your "security blankets" can be the healthiest thing you can do and the only thing that will possibly allow you to grow into yourself.
I've learned that church is necessary for my growth, sense of security, and accountability.
I've learned that not every church is right for me, but I've been blessed enough to find the right one and I'm able to share that part of my life with some of the most important people in my life.
I've learned that shutting God out of certain areas of your life simply won't work in your favor, so just quit while you're ahead, let Him in, and take that leap of faith. You won't regret it.
I've learned that relationships absolutely have to have God at the center, whether it's a friendship or romantic relationship, He has to be there for it to function healthily.
I've learned that you can never run out of love to give, and you can never run out of a positive thing to say. However,
I've learned that sometimes, you just need to rant to somebody who will love you no matter how ridiculous you are...and those people are hard to come by, so love them with all you have and make sure they know they are appreciated.
I've learned that coffee can be ridiculously tasty...and trying new things can be fun and rewarding (beyond coffee, of course).
I've learned that I hate political commercials.
I've learned that stopping to appreciate God's creation now and then never gets old. Seriously. Look at the stars. It makes you feel so small and just encapsulated by the wonderment of God's power. (In the picture above, check out the Northern Lights...I've GOT to see that before I die)
I've learned that prayer is a necessity for spiritual growth. You wouldn't go a week without talking to your best friend or lover, and you can't go without talking to God and expect your relationship to flourish.
I've learned that despite what I'd like to think, I really am one of those girls that likes the mushy romantic stuff...oh dear.
I've learned that acting like a grandma and knitting can be really fun.
I've also learned that remembering my childhood and coloring or going to the zoo is still really, really, really fun...and turning 20 won't be the end of the world.

This is getting pretty long, but I think the gist of what I'm saying is that in 2009, in all things, I hope I continue to learn, grow, and seek God...to grow closer to Him individually, take some more chances, branch out, and be less afraid of losing. Everything works for the good of those who love Him...why not live really, really believing it?