It's a weird feeling when you realize you've outgrown your past and haven't quite figured out the future.
When you've outgrown your home, your friends, your childhood wishes.
It's just plain weird.
I don't know if I should be upset or excited.
Spring break has been really interesting for me. I feel like in a matter of 2 days, I figured out everything I had unknowingly been trying to figure out for the past year and a half.
Some best friends stay, most best friends go.
The place that was my home for 10 years isn't anymore.
I've lived my life spread through 3-4 cities for the past 2 years, and I think I'm done with my time in one of them.
It makes me sad, but it makes me optimistic about the future because I know I'm finally ready for it.
I'm definitely not saying that it doesn't hurt for some people and familiar places drift out of my life, I'll always love those people and I'll always love Disney World...but I'm done trying to maintain a part of my life that doesn't exist anymore...even Mrs. Field's cookies don't taste the same. It's just exhausting trying to be two different versions of me. I've grown up a bit, and so many people have stayed the same. I'm exhausted by trying to maintain close relationships with people who don't care to do their 50%. I need to get my head out of the past and get excited about what's going on today and in the future.
My life is what is happening now.
It's in Nashville with my boyfriend and the long-distance phone calls with Caitlin. The excitement I have for my growing relationship with my church. The possibilities of seeing the world, meeting new people, building relationships that will take me somewhere new.
New job opportunities. Time in Atlanta with my family because I know as we get older things will never stop changing. Enjoying my doggy while I've still got her with me. Enjoying the snow over 85 degree Christmases. Drinking tea with new friends that I'm growing closer to and talking about nothing in particular. Learning to love soy milk and coffee. Taking more chances. Volunteering. Being part of something bigger than myself.
I think I'm finally learning.
I think I might actually get it.
I've got a LONG way to go.
ps-I'm annoyed by Comcast knocking off the FreeCreditReport.com commercials. One more reason to hate that company.
